When Someone You Love Leaves the Faith : How to Stay Close through Doubt, Deconstruction, and Deconversion

Studies show that the church in the United States is hemorrhaging faith. The Pew Research Center says that over 30% of individuals who identify as Christians will no longer do so by the time they are 30 years old (2022). Pew also claims that for every one person who converts to Christianity four leave the faith (2015). More troubling is the findings of a Pinetops study that argues over the next 30 years, 35 million young people who once identified as Christians no longer will (2018). In the wake of this deconversion crisis are tens of thousands of distraught and confused parents and spouses desperately seeking answers as to why their loved one left the faith and wisdom for how to respond. Because deconversion often results in a repudiation of prior beliefs, values, and identity, it can also stress even the strongest relationships to the point of breaking. But when combined with the frantic actions of Christians, fearful for their loved one's eternal destiny, it is a recipe for disaster. The loss of cherished common beliefs and values, combined with the desire to see their loved one return to the faith, can lead parents and spouses to adopt strategies that frequently make matters worse, resulting in not only strained relationships but all too often severed relationships. When Someone You Love Leaves the Faith is written to meet the pressing need of those grappling with one of life's most distressing events, the deconversion of a loved one. It provides insight into why people leave the faith and offers practical advice--rooted in the Scriptures and communication theory--for responding in positive and productive ways. This book is not intended to be a guide on how to reconvert a loved one, but an aid to preserving the most cherished of relationships in the midst of the most trying of circumstances. If parents and spouses want to see a loved one return to the faith, the most important thing they can do is to stay in the conversation by maintaining a loving relationship